Budding Romance

Scientific research tells us that there are mental, emotional and physiological benefits to "being in love". Our eyes are brighter, our skin is more firm and elastic, we laugh more, and our immune systems seem to rebound quicker when attacked. In a good relationship, we feel protected, valued and more willing to trust others as well. If this is all true while we are in healthy relationships, is the opposite true when we are single?

With this question on my lips, I embarked on an interesting experimental journey a few short months ago. I wanted to see if placing myself in a state of "budding romance" would make me feel any different about my surroundings, my present single situation, or foster any mental, physical or spiritual awakenings of note. Here is what I did.

I found a focus point for my love. You can do this too. If there is a person in your life who you find attractive, or interesting or in some way special in a romantic way, try to connect with that person within. I am not suggesting any sort of obsessive behaviour, on the contrary. Think loving thoughts about this person and yourself. Smile when you think of them. If you can actually have an open conversation with this person, do not be afraid to be open to all possibilities; be bold! It is certainly what I did, and I could not be happier with the changes I have felt in my mental state, my physical being and my spiritual connection to the world.

Take a look at your appearance and make some upgrades in fashion, hair-whatever might need an adjustment/overhaul. Go to a funny flick, or watch a good sitcom once in a while. Give yourself a luxurious home-spa treatment, or actually go to the spa and hook yourself up! No one need spend a fortune (unless you have it to spare), but go ahead and splurge on feeling good-whatever that means to you. What you are doing is encouraging your endorphins to release themselves, making you feel better and therefore unblocking the flow of your passion. What is key to this "unblocking" is that you focus on the feelings and not the subject of your focus. In other words, don't go "Glenn Close" on someone who may or may not even know you, but use them to open the floodgates of a budding romantic state of mind.

Now before you get lost in the "magic of love", realize that feeling the state of a budding romance might actually bring someone closer to you without you even trying. The Law of Attraction is at work here, and it is powerful. Use your new awakened powers for good, my friend! You want the energy to keep coming toward you, not be diverted by negativity. Stay in a happy state, open to the possibilities around you. Speak often to those you care about, and let them know that you are preparing yourself for the love of your life.

I guarantee you will turn heads, make connections and be more ready to welcome the good person you deserve right to your doorstep. If you would like more information and links to the scientific data, please let me know. In the meantime, look for the love around you...be open, flaunt your stuff, and feel the sense of "BUDDING ROMANCE"!

An Incredible Journey Awaits...

One of our duties as stewards of the earth is to see it. Being responsible for the upkeep and healthy progress of nature will ensure a future for the planet. Are you a traveller-in-waiting? Have you always wanted to see The Sydney Opera House, or the temples of Cambodia or the Northern Lights?

If you take the time to step outside your door and go, I promise you, AN INCREDIBLE JOURNEY AWAITS! I have been lucky enough to travel quite extensively. I am not rich, nor do I have a job that includes travel. How have I managed to go to Prague, Japan, Austria and beyond? I have done so by SEIZING opportunities that have come my way! If you are really and truly interested in making some trips within the next few years, I can connect you with many agencies, grant opportunities and inexpensive retreats that will help make your wishes for travel come true.

America is a wonderful country that has many resources for those of us who want to venture out into the world. However, interestingly enough, while I am a true native daughter, I have received better reception of who I am (meaning being an African-American, voluptuous woman) overseas. In fact, I would encourage any single woman of color to go abroad! We are like goddesses in other parts of the world! Where do you think I got the idea I am a princess? Not from an American lover I can tell you...(don't take it personally boys!)

It is just plain good for the old ego! So, ladies, gentlemen, adventurers, get off this rock once and a while...how? Save your pennies darlings! Eat out 2 or 3 times less a month, dump the Starbucks habit for a year (based on $5 a day for 5 days a week for the whole year, that is $1200!), and you won't even notice it! That is free money to travel...

I am sure you can think of even more creative ways to see the planet. You will be amazed at the culture you absorb-even the languages! Remember the minutes I speak of, and that we only have a certain amount left? Use them well...the flat screen TV is not going to get you the same feeling as being in front of the Trevi Fountain in Rome
www.aviewoncities.com/rome/trevi.htm tossing your coins in...I guarantee it! If you want help, write a comment and I will get with you personally...and remember, AN INCREDIBLE JOURNEY AWAITS!

Empower Others...

With so much talk of "empowerment" these days, it is easy to

focus on ourselves, isn't it? We make our bodies stronger by working out, we make our interactions with others more vital by talking over one another to be heard. We interview for the best jobs-even though we don't actually want to work. I know the "shadow of empowerment" is at a party, when the volume swells and no one is getting a point across!

I actually believe empowerment is a word to be used for the well-being of others. Hmmm? Yes! Strong people gain so much from making others stronger. Now I am surely not some mealy-mouthed pushover when it comes to being heard, but for instance, I have a very dear friend-more like spouse-who I have vowed never to interrupt while he is speaking. He has vowed the same to me. I did not know if it was going to work because we often have opposing views about the same subject, and we both are loquacious as hell! But, because we have "empowered" each other on this very personal level, our relationship is much more invigorating and positive. He lets me finish a sentence, sits quietly for a moment-actually absorbing what I have said-and THEN he responds...whoa! What a treasure that is to me, to actually feel heard! I feel empowered by his actions, and I know he feels the same way.

You see, giving over some of your power is a prerequisite to "empowering" someone else. Giving over the power of knowing the outcome, of having the upper hand, of being in control-those all have to fade a bit in order to give someone else the strength they need in order to prosper.

When we say we want to "empower" young girls and boys-a very popular desire right now-how often do we listen to them? If we want to empower our neighbors from third world countries-how often do we actually travel there and fulfill their needs? Me? No! I would much rather stay here in the States and throw money after that "empowerment" issue over there! It is too dangerous!

I only say this to shake you out of your comfort zone of natural complacency. My dear friend, you EMPOWER OTHERS by sacrificing something of yourself. That is really the bottom line. You are strong enough to share your power with someone in need, don't you think? I know many very strong people who have enough to share~without this giving quality, we will never make it past the global trends of warfare, famine and pillaging of the earth.

So my plan is to actually go to Sudan, give of myself and trust that I am enough. It is taking a toll on my family, and some of my friends don't understand why I would want to risk my life to go. But I will tell you a little story that a wiseman once told his pupil...

"Once, there were 3 moths flying very near a flame. One moth was very afraid of the flame, and could not make itself go near enough to truly enjoy the bright warmth it gave. The second moth was so attracted to the flame that it flew too close; singeing its wings and then flying off to heal its wounds...but the third moth gathered all its strength, and flew directly into the flame allowing itself to be consumed completely. And as the other moths looked on, out of the ashes of that moth came the most beautiful Phoenix anyone had ever seen! Its wings were aflame with the passion and energy of the fire, it rose over the earth and filled the sky with the richest colors; some say it created the first rainbow."

And the wiseman told his pupil, "Here is the lesson of this Phoenix Tale. There are those who refuse to commit to life, there are those who flit around the edges of life and end up being discouraged or even hurt physically and emotionally by their failure to fully commit. Then there are those who run into life wholeheartedly and are transformed into incredible beings. Yes, there is pain in life, but a pain-free journey was never promised to any of us."

Now my question is, which moth are you?

Work Wherever...

When I think of work, I usually feel claustrophobic, constricted and confined. What do you think about? Necessity? Responsibility? A Sense of identity? Actually some people identify so much with their jobs, that it is the first thing they ask when meeting a new person. "So, what do you do?"

You know what I tell them? I say that I am a "professional enjoyer". I am! My life has been developing for a while now, and what I have discovered it that my job does not equal my identity. I know there are those of you out there who are saying, "Yeah, but what am I supposed to do? Go and quit my job?" No. Absolutely not, unless you want to. What I suggest to you is the fact that you can work wherever you wish!

Some people find pleasure in working within a traditional model-the office, with the water cooler mentality and that is fine. But then there are others who are bored to tears in that environment, and have tried every which way to get out of it. Some even sabotage their jobs so that they have to quit or are fired. Others drift away the hours by endlessly surfing the net and getting the bare minimum of work done each day.

My question to you is-and there will be many-why are you doing this to the remaining minutes of your life? No one is stuck who does not want to be stuck. YOU CAN WORK WHEREVER! I have a plan to help you develop your passions in such a way that you can derive such pleasure out of your work, that it won't even seem like work at all! Are you a closet teacher? How about a writer, cupcake baker, party planner, financial wizard? I encourage you to remember the minutes you have left, and spend them well...

Yes, transition and failure are possibilities. I can't tell you to WORK WHEREVER without putting that out there. All I know is that when people ask me what I do, I can smile! Why? Because I can pick up this computer and get on a plane and work from St Lucia, Paris or Milan should I choose. To me that is liberating, leads me to a feeling of joy, and brings me in touch with real, mental PLEASURE!

Try it today. What can you do better than most of your friends and family? I ask you to do some research-while you still have your "job"-and see what it would take to make the transition into being a person who can WORK WHEREVER! Then, simply go for it!

A Daily Big Wet Kiss...

A Big Wet Kiss...?

Essential to life! Now some of you might think I am talking about some sultry, sexy smacker laid on you by a lover. In fact, this wet one can be obtained by almost anyone or anything. Here is what I mean. If you have a pet in your life a smile is coming to your face. Now, dogs have an uncanny way of laying one on you right when you need it the most. For all the dog people out there, you know what I mean! For the more feline adjusted types, you too can recieve that kiss...but you are really going to have to earn it!

I also am a proponent of the gummy, slobbery wet kiss of an infant just learning how to kiss. These are funny and sloppy and wonderful and always bring a smile to my lips. In effect what I am asking you to incorporate into your day is affection. The world can be a lonely place. Because we are so afraid of what others might think, we hold back affection and deny ourselves the affection of others. It does not have to be a night in the sack with a stranger. That is not what I am suggesting. No, simple physical connections with others are good for us!

For example, I have experimented heavily with the notion that helping an elderly person by holding their hand, or placing a hand on a shoulder will cause the person to calm down and relax. A smile in addition to the hand will make the situation natural and comfortable for you both. Smiling at a baby that you see-don't be weird about it, but actually try to connect-and you will receive incredible results! The baby will pay attention to you, and give back in the most affectionate way. Try this. Also connect with the parent by the way and you will have another enriching experience to hold in your memory.

Why is affection so important to the body mind and spirit? Because we are social beings built to be affectionate. Our hands are soft, our bodies are soft-have you ever rested your head on a really ample, full chest? Heaven. No wonder babies fall asleep so quickly on me! It feels good. We derive our comfort from one another by connecting on all three levels, body, mind and spirit, but the most important for trust is the physical (body) level.

Touch someone today in a loving, healthy way, and see if you feel better. If you can get that DAILY BIG WET KISS my friend, get it. It is just plain good for you!